if u figure out da message test others…if u wanna know if ur rite tho juss send me ur answers 2 my email…it saiz sumwhere on dis page…

1. The guy will be extremely nice to you.
2. He will tell you that you did something good, even when you did it horribly.
3. He might make fun of you.
4. He will want to be your best friend.
5. He might complement you on something normal like, your hair, even if you wear it that way everyday.
6. He will stick up for you.
7. He will start hanging out with your friends.
8. He will flirt with you.
9. He will call you for no good reason.
10. He will make eye contact with a serious look on his face.

HOW TO TELL IF A GIRL LIKES YOU:

1. They always talk about the different kind of guys they COULD have.
2. They stare at you with a smile on their face and won’t look away until you do first.
3. They ALWAYS seem to be talking about how nice or cute you are.
4. They laugh at all your jokes, no matter how stupid they are.
5. They will ask you who you like, continuously.
6. They talk to your friends about you a lot.
7. They always are flirting with every other guy, except you.
8. They always try to make you jealous.
9. They beg you to do everything for them.
10. They always ask you what to do in a bad situation

Ø No matter what you say, your ex-boyfriend is an asshole.

Ø We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.

Ø Don’t argue with us when we call you beautiful.

Ø Don’t treat us like crap, what goes around comes around.

Ø We know you’re pretty, that’s one of the reason’s we’re going out with you.

Ø Don’t go into detail about your period. It scares us. If you have cramps and we ask you what’s wrong, just tell us it’s that time of the month and nothing more.

Ø If you really liked us for us, you would let us think that our mustache, beard, or sideburns looked cool.

Ø We never shave our legs. Get over it.

Ø NEVER ask us if you can put make up on us. It’s just wrong.

Ø Don’t make bets about us, because one of your friends will tell us, if YOU don’t.

Ø When we tell you that you’re not fat, believe us.

Ø We absolutely do not care about, The Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, 98 degrees, or what any other guy looks like for that matter.

Ø What does PMS stand for?

Ø We may not be able to pee accurately all of the time, but at least we can stand up and go pee.

Ø Just cause you think you’re always right, doesn’t mean that you don’t have to apologize when you do something “wrong”.

Ø You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every once in a while.

Ø We like to know that you love us. We can’t always be spontaneous, so try to help us make the plans sometimes.

Ø Don’t ask us to beat up another guy for you, because you might just get what you wish for.

Ø Never kick us in the nuts “just to see what we would say”.

Ø Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh when we believe you.

Ø Pamela Anderson’s breasts aren’t fake anymore, but we like yours better anyway. Size doesn’t matter, except to idiots who don’t want a relationship.

Ø PMS is not an excuse.

Ø Don’t tell us how cute your ex-boyfriend was. That doesn’t turn us on.

Ø And last but not least: We know you’re not always right, but we’ll pretend like you are anyway.

]]> http://fly2dasky.wordpress.com/2007/01/09/things-guys-think-girls-should-know/feed/ 2 fly2dasky http://fly2dasky.wordpress.com/2007/01/09/things-2-do-at-a-boring-movie/ http://fly2dasky.wordpress.com/2007/01/09/things-2-do-at-a-boring-movie/#comments Tue, 09 Jan 2007 11:10:32 +0000 ChinkyCandie http://fly2dasky.wordpress.com/2007/01/09/things-2-do-at-a-boring-movie/ ]]> 1. Wear a top hat.
2. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, “It’s snowing!”
3. Go, “Oooooh…” whenever anyone kisses.
4. Clap when the good guy gets killed.
5. Make a noise like your passing gas and go, “Ahhh…”
6. Starting wheezing and ask the person next to you if you have some Juicy fruits for your asthma.
7. During the previews,yell,”Can you fast-forward it?”
8. Whenever the bad guy is doing something devious, say, “Watch out!!”
9. Laugh very loudly at all the corny jokes.
10. Tell the man selling popcorn that the girls bathroom is flooding
11. Yell out what is going to happen.
12. Tell the man next to you that you have diarrhea and wink while smiling
13. Wear a cape and when its your turn to get popcorn yell,”I’m Batman!” and run away
14. Yell, “Fire!” and moon the people coming through the exit.
15. Say that they cannot sit next to you because your invisible friend already is.
16. Yell out loud, “Stop molesting me!”

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the instructor on duty that you can’t get the damn thing to work. After he/she’s turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.

4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to different screen than the one it’s set up with.

6. Write a program that plays the “Smurfs” theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.

7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.

9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don’t know.

10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

11. Bring a chainsaw, but don’t use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say “Just in case…” mysteriously.

12. Type on VAX for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they’re crazy while typing.

14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.

15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, “Oops, I forgot.”

16. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray “Oh please oh please oh please oh please,” and scream “YES!” when it finishes.

17. “DISK FIGHT!!!”

18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (It helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

20. If you’re sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” whenever there is processing time required.

21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper, tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

22. Try to stick a Ninetendo cartridge into the 3 1/2 disc drive, when it doesn’t work, get the supervisor.

23. When you are on an IBM, and when you turn it on, ask loudlywhere the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when its all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for a while, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Grinds some more. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension,
and it is far more effective to let them linger.

27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them and deposit them on your neighbor’s keyboard as you leave.

28. Put a large, gold framed portrait of the British Royal Family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them of top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic
beauty of cotton on plastic.

30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

31. Laugh hysterically, shout “You will all perish in flames!!!” and continue working.

32. Bring some dry ice & make it look like your computer is smoking.

33. Assign a musical note to every key (i.e.. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

34. Attempt to eat your computer’s mouse.

35. Borrow someone else’s keyboard by reaching over, saying “Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?”, unplugging the keyboard & taking it.

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn’t affected). Then look at your neighbor’s keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: “Does *your* delete key work?” Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until you’ve deleted about a page of your neighbor’s document. Then, suddenly exclaim: “Well, whaddya know? I’ve been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn’t deleting! Ha!” Print out your document and leave.

40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab instructor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

41. Stare at the person’s next to your screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say “You did that?” loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell “COVEEEEERRRRRR!” peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. “Oh, good. It worked this time,” and calmly start to type again.

43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

44. See who’s online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you’ve known them all your lives. Hang-up before they get a chance to figure out you’re a total stranger.

45. Bring an small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it’s the computer and look really lost.

46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn’t work.

47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim “You’re such a marvel!!”, and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard. Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

48. Run into the computer lab, shout “Armageddon is here!!!!!”, then calmly sit down and begin to type.

49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, “Give me that computer or you’ll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week”.

50. Two words: Tesla Coil.

1. Type every word in a different font. Alternate really big fonts with really small fonts.

2. Support your thesis with quotes from your VCR manual.

3. Write the entire paper on Post-it notes and turn it in by sticking them all over the professor’s door.

4. Switch the names of prominent history figures with the names of your friends, classmates, etc. Claim that your roommate led the Spanish Armada.

5. Write a paper discussing why Michelangelo got to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, but Van Gogh didn’t. Discuss whether Van Gogh would have used nunchakus or katanas.

6. Write your paper by cutting out words from magazines and sticking them on the page, ransom-note style.

7. End the paper with “This paper will self-destruct in 10 seconds”.

8. Perfume the paper with catnip. Explain that it was to keep your dog from eating it.

9. If assigned a paper in philosophy class, explain that you can’t do the paper because you’re not sure if the class really exists, or if it and the professor are just illusions created by your subconscious. If you do end up writing the paper, write about whether or not the paper actually exists.

10. If assigned a 2000-word paper, draw two pictures of what the paper was supposed to be about. After all, a picture is worth 1000 words, right?

11. Type gibberish. When you hand it in, claim that your computer crashed while you were printing it, and you couldn’t retrieve the original.

12. Cite issues of Spiderman and Batman as resources in your bibliography.

13. Turn the paper in by making paper airplanes out of the pages of the paper and attempting to fly them onto the professor’s desk.

14. The night before the paper is due, call the professor and explain that you can’t turn your paper in because it contains sensitive military information and is only available on a “need to know” basis. Insist that General Schwarzkopf says you should get an ‘A’.

15. Write your history paper on parchment, using a quill. Say that you were trying to get the feel for the period.

16. Turn in a letter you wrote to your cousin. When the teacher confronts you about it, say that you must have gotten the letter and the paper mixed up. Say that you’ll turn the paper in as soon as you get it back, but your cousin lives in Siberia, so it might take a while. (This is a nifty way to get an extension.)

17. When writing an especially long paper, put a recipe for chocolate cake in the middle and see if the professor notices.

18. Tell the professor that you need an extension because one of your primary sources is an old wise man in Tibet and he won’t see you until the next full moon.

19. Paint a large white stripe down the front of your paper. Say that on the way to class, you dropped it in the street and it got run over by one of those trucks that paint lines on the road.

20. Make a footprint on the back of one of the pages. When questioned by the professor, act like it’s nothing unusual. After all, he did tell you to include footnotes.

21. Bring candles and incense to class. Before handing in the paper, perform an elaborate ceremony, entreating the Gods to bless the paper and correct all your typos.

22. Make a tape of you singing the contents of your paper, opera-style, and hand that in.

23. Write your psychology paper on possible genetic anomalies that might cause a person to prefer anchovies.

24. Hand your paper in a sealed envelope with postmarks from several different countries on it. Say that you wanted several different perspectives on your work.

25. TTyyppee eevveerryy lleetttteerr ttwwiiccee.

26. Get a large piece of paper or canvas. Smear paint all over it and hand it in as your paper. Explain that the topic was such an emotional one for you, and that mere words couldn’t possibly express what you had to say.

27. Compare and contrast the characters of James T. Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard. Claim that one is actually Hamlet, and the other is King Lear. Say that Worf is Ophelia.

28. Carve your paper on the bathroom wall.

29. Refuse to do the paper on account of the fact that you are a member of Greenpeace and strongly object to the gratuitous slaughter of trees caused by the massive amount of paper used in writing assignments.

30. Put nonsense words down as quotes. Say that you are quoting the words of a well-known Zen master who was speaking in tongues at the time.

31. Use a forklift to bring your paper to class, even if it’s only a few pages. Explain that it involved some very heavy reading.

32. Poke several holes in the paper. Say that you were mobbed by crows on the way to class.

33. Print all the pages on one sheet of paper, with the text overlapping. Say that that was all the paper you had.

34. Write about whether Plato would have said that Miller Light is “less filling” or that it “tastes great”. Also explain why Aristotle would have taken the opposite view. Try to predict both philosophers’ reactions to Spuds McKensie.

35. Draw pictures of your professor in the margins.

36. Make your paper one long, never-ending sentence that goes on for pages and pages and pages; use a lot of semi-colons, commas, and other interesting, rarely-used punctuation marks [(for example), an interesting one: the colon_] but never ever end the sentence {[_-\|/??!]}.

37. Staple a picture of an academic building to the paper. Cite the picture as a resource.

38. On the day the paper is due, skip into class, waving the paper and screaming, “I have a paper! I have a paper!” Run around the class a few times, then joyfully throw it out the window. Laugh and yell, “There’s my paper!”, then run outside to get it. Repeat this all through the period, or until the professor throws you out.

39. Come to class leading a horse or camel. When asked to turn in the paper, take it out of one of the saddlebags, then shoot the horse/camel/whatever away. Refuse to discuss it.

40. Draw obscure connections between totally unrelated things. For example, claim that abnormal amounts of neutrino activity in Germany caused Hitler to invade France, or that the Roman empire collapsed because of a shortage of qualified botanists.

41. Refer to all prominent historical figures by nicknames. For example, call George Washington “Georgie”. Call Ben Franklin “Sparky”.

42. Pwetend you have a speech impediment and awways type w’s whenevew you weawwy want to type r’s ow l’s.

43. Ol, switch alound arr the l’s and r’s in youl papel, rike Monty Python did in Queen Erizabeth the Thild.

44. When your professor asks for an outline of your paper, draw the outline of the piece of paper you typed it on and hand it in.

45. Spill a martini on your sociology paper. Say that you wrote it in a bar so that you could see “sociology in action”.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10″.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who BUYS this junk, anyway?”

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”

20. Put M&M’s on layaway.

21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,”…I’m Batman. Come, Robin, to the Bat cave!”

26. Run around as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission: Impossible.”

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him “I need some tampons!!”

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”

41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: “Marco Polo.”

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible “sex and candy”

52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying “How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling.” Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good bessie.”

66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they would like to join in your tag game.

68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign? (giggle).” When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign? (giggle).”

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don’t realize it!

70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front of your nose and saying “Oh god, your over powering the perfume!!”

71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left as if you’re trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was the biggest Cockroach I’ve ever seen, I think it was pregnant!!! Hey look, there’s another one!!!” Then Repeat.

74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that you’re a cat. Meow when people walk by rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that you’re a prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man” to people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.

77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don’t know you.

78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.

79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your friend.

80. Excessively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say “Hello, how may I help you?” say “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of French fries and a diet coke.” And when they start to talk, say “Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you say “Oh, This is because I’m gay isn’t it? I’d expect this from Caldors, but not Walmart/Kmart. People who are gay are just like everyone else your know. You disgust me” Then walk away mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl- like as you can.

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.

84. When you’re alone, have loud conversations with your “multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents.

85. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like you’re having some kind of massive seizure.

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if you’re suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see whose watching and run away as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department

90. Put lingerie in the men’s department.

91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn around.

92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that someone is trying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over, start crying and saying “All I ever wanted was a little attention” Then run away crying.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink every time it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.

94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming “NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO NO NO NO!!!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the eyes, and Calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t light the zippo, just hold it closed.

95. Light a match under a sprinkler.

96. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun”. Then walk away.

97. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss him. Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.

98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend that you’re a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get paid enough to do this”

99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

100. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen my mommy?”

101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless.

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, “I’m SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking.” Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say “They’ve found me, I have to leave the country” and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out “Merry Christmas.” If you’re really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she’s not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out “Screw this!” and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone’s done, they are all leaving after one hour to go drink.)

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how good the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling “I’m here, the phantom of the opera” until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Walk in, get the exam sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, “I don’t understand ANY of this. I’ve been to every lecture all semester long! What’s the deal? And who the hell are you? Where’s the regular guy?”

25. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don’t know one, make one up!

26. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

27. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, “the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!”

28. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor’s requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

29. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

30. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

31. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

32. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor’s left nostril.

33. Bring cheerleaders.

34. Bring pets.

35. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

36. Walk into the exam with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam. Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.

37. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).

38. Go to an exam for a class you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.

39. Upon receiving the exam, look it over, while laughing loudly, say “You don’t really expect me to waste my time on this? Days of our Lives is on!!!”

40. Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.

41. Start a brawl in the middle of the exam.

42. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

43. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious… like history notes for a calculus exam… otherwise you’re not just failing, you’re getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment “Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit.”

44. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

45. Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.

46. Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

47. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc… sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

48. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

49. Bring a musical instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say “it helps me think.” Bring a copy of the Student Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical instruments during finals. Don’t forget to use the phrase “Told you so”.

50. Answer the exam with the “Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx Sucks”

51. Make strange noises… get people to stare… look at the person next to you as if he\she did it.

52. Write a short story about your childhood, or an experience that you once had. If you can’t think of anything, make something up. Be creative. End the story with “I just thought I should tell you.”

53. Wear a mask or costume, pretend that you really DO think that you’re someone else.

54. Play loud music.

55. When you turn in your test, take all the ones under it and throw them away or keep them or put your name on some of them. Do it casually, as if that’s what you are supposed to do after an exam.

56. Dress like the professor.

57. Cross-Dress.

58. Borrow a friend’s Video taping equipment and set up a lot of lights and a camera around your desk. Call out instructions to imaginary people who are supposed to be working the equipment.

59. Two words: Plastic Explosives.

60. Bring food or drinks, pass them out to the class as if you’re supposed to be giving samples for a fund raiser. Use the words “Would you buy something like this if we had a bake sale?” It doesn’t matter if they are baked goods or not.

61. Trip people as they walk by your desk.

62. Read all the questions out loud like Rain Man.

63. Walk around the room and ask people if there is anything that you can help them with. Speak loudly stutter and spit. Make a show of it.

64. Make several origami animals out of the test papers. Re-enact scenes from your favorite soap opera with them.

65. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what’s going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

66. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

67. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

68. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, “Okay, let’s double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E….”